"..And by the way...I'm not a lizard; I'm a dragon! I don't do that tongue thing..." Mushu from mulan

If ham is canadian bacon... then what the heck do you (Canadians) call bacon?"~ Michael Kelso.

LauRie FoRMaN: Hey, Hyde. Going home, so you could ask another guy "Are you my daddy"?
HYDe: Hey, Laurie. The surgeon general called, he told you to stop taking all the penicillin.
LauRie FoRMaN:You know, you should watch your table manners. Because, when you're in prison, that would just really turn on some guy named "Tank". 
HYDe:  Oh, yeah? Well, maybe when you're there for a conjugal visit,you could ask him to take it easy on me. 

LauRie FoRMaN: Oh, yeah? Well... Nice hair! 
HYDe:  Awww, Laurie... Are you out of put downs? 
LauRie FoRMaN:Yeah...

"You're...um...tiny.." Mulan from mulan
"No, I'm travel-sized for your convenience! If I were regular size, I'd scare your cow here. Down from mulan, Bessie!" -- Mushu from mulan

"He didn't fall?!? Inconceivable!!!" Vizzini from the princess bride
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Inigo from the princess bride

Honestly throw me a bone here, what do we have"- Dr. Evil

"You can't always trust the people you want to." -- 10 Things I Hate About You

"Sometimes you gotta kiss ass before you can kick it." -- 28 Days

"What we do in this life echoes in eternity." Gladiator

"As we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe. It's not that we don't want to, but too much has happened that we just can't." -- Now and Then

"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen." -- The Rock

You know, not many girls would give their panties to help a geek in contemporary society- the geek n 16 candles

A hickey from Kinickey is like a hallmark card. Care enough to send the very best- kinickey

Scariest environment imaginable...thanks. That's all you had to say, scariest environment imaginable +  It's about time. I haven't thrown up in about an hour yet.   rockhound from Armageddon

Kelso: "Well I have something to say. I went to the mall today and bought a new pair of shoes. And they're the coolest kicks in the cave."
Eric: "So no more for Kelso he's toasted."
Fez: "I would like some toast if you are making some. Food of any kind would be good. I am starving."
Hyde: "We should record our conversation so we can write it down, man. I bet that's how the writers of National Lampoon do it."
Kelso: "Yea well I read somewhere that there are these people in France."
Hyde: "What do they do?"
Kelso: "They're incredibly...French."
Eric: "Oh that's it, I'm getting the tape recorder."
Fez: "Where's my toast you idiots?"

"A wise man once told me that death smiles at men, all we can do is smile back." Maximus

[mumbling into glass] "Stopacoupleofangelsfromenteringandthusnegatingallexistence. Damn, this is good tequila. Metatron

"Wait, wait, wait. Repeat that." -Bethany
" 'Damn, this is good tequila'?" -Metatron
 "The first part." -Bethany
 "Details. Stop a couple of angels from entering and thus negating all existence. God, I hate when people need it spelled out for them." -Metatron

Mr. Stratford: "Hello, Katarina. Make anybody cry today?"
Kat: "Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30."

Mr. Stratford: "Where are you going?"
Bianca: "Well, if you must know, a small study group of friends."
Mr. Stratford: "Better known as an orgy?"
Chastity: "It's just a party, Mr. Stratford."
Mr. Stratford: "And hell is just a sauna."

Westley: "This is true love. You think it comes along every day?"

Buttercup: "You mock my pain!"
Westley: "The world is pain princess! And anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something."

AJ: You know what I was thinking?
Grace: What?
AJ: I really don't think that the animal cracker qualifies as a cracker.
Grace: Why?
AJ: Well cause it's sweet, which to me suggests cookie, I mean well putting cheese on something is sort of a defining characteristic of what makes a cracker a cracker.

Leonardo DaVinci: "A life without love is no life at all."

better a silly girl with a flower than a silly boy with a horse and a stick.- jocelyn

"It's called a lance. Hello" Wat from a kights tale

You told me it was a matter of life or death. -Prince Henry
 A woman always is. -Leonardo DaVinci

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." -James Dean

How's Monica? -Ross
She's calmed down a bit. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling. -Phoebe
How's the hair? Ross

I'm not gonna lie to you Ross. It doesn't look good. Phoebe
 Can we see her? -Joey
No, your hair looks too good. I think it would only upset her. -Phoebe
Oh. -Rachel
Ross, you can go on in. Phoebe

I don't know what I'm gonna do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare! -Ross
 Oh, I know, this must be so hard. "Oh no, two women love me! They're both gorgeous and sexy! My wallet's too small for my fifties AND MY DIAMOND SHOES ARE TOO TIGHT!" Chandler

Married a lesbian to ross, left a man at the altar to rachel, married a gay ice dancer to phoebe, threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire to joey, live in a box! To chandler-Monica

The camera adds ten pounds. -Monica
So how many cameras are actually on you? Chandler

Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there? -Ross
 Everyday use... -Joey
 Fancy... -Chandler
 Guest... -Joey
 Fancy Guest... -Chandler
 Two seconds! -Ross
 Uh, uh... Eleven! -Joey
 Amazing. Eleven is correct Ross

 (watching Carol nursing Ben): If you blow into one side, does the other get bigger? Joey

Okay, I've got a leg, three breasts, and a wing. -Monica
 How do you find clothes that fit? Chandler

You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us Jim American pie

I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause] I never did it with baked -Jim's Dad American  goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day

I'm, like, 98% excited, and maybe 2% scared. Or maybe it's backwards. Maybe I'm 98% scared, and, like, 2% excited. But that's what makes it so great---I'm so confused! Oscar

Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel: What is it, son?
Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant--
Jet Pilot: Dick! Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge--
Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker!
Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Where?
Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Oh goodness, it's not a bird, it's--
Army Sergeant: Privates! We have reports of an Unidentified Flying Object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with--
Baseball Umpire: Two balls! [looking up from game] What is that? It looks just like an enormous--
Colonel: Johnson!
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?

Jan: You know everyone just comes to see you ladies anyway.
Missy Pantone: Right, because we're such fine athletes.
Jan: Oh, live with it! You'll be fighting off major oglers, while we defend our sexuality.
Missy Pantone: What is your sexuality?
Les: Well, Jan's straight, and I'm... controversial. Missy Pantone: You speak fag?
Les: Oh, fluently.  Bring It on

Denise: There's a mirror right there. Take a look, you're white. cant hardly wait

Priscilla: This is not a cheer-ocracy, I am the cheer-tator, I will make the cheer-isions around here, and I will deal with the cheer-onsequences! Not another teen movie

Sandy Sue: Gimme a W! Gimme a Y! Gimme a...LICK MY PUSSY ASS COCK SHIT!
[pause]
Crowd: Lick my pussy ass cock shit! Not another teen movie

Vietnam Veteran: I'm going to tell you something i wish someone would have told me when I was your age.
Chrissy: Oh yeah? What's that?
Vietnam Veteran: Your parents aren't always right.
Samantha: No shit.  Now n then

 Mitch: Sorry, your seatbelt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do?
 Cab Driver: I recommend you stop being such a faggot. You're in the backseat.old school

 Beanie: Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass. old school

 Andy Dick: You know, when I get back there, I'm going to show you something called crouching tiger, hidden penis. Old school

Frank: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.
 College Student: A big day? Doing what?
 Frank: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time. Old school

 Frank: You're my boy, Blue! Old schoool

Frank: I see Blue, He look's glorious! Old school

 Peppers: She's a beauty, ain't she?
 Frank: Yeah, what kind of gun is this?
 Peppers: It's a tranquilizer gun. If any of these fuckers decide to freak out on the kids, I get to take them down. Ain't that right?
 [yank's on the mule's reigns]
 Peppers: What? That's what I thought. Shut up.
 [Frank cocks the gun]
 Peppers: Hey, hey. Careful with that. That's the most powerful tranq gun on the market. Got her in Mexico.
 Frank: Cool.
 Peppers: Yeah, it is cool. They say it can puncture the skin of a rhino from...
 [Frank shoots himself in the neck with the dart]
 Peppers: YES!!! That's awesome!
 Frank: What?
 Peppers: You just took one in the jugular, man! Old school

 Andy Dick: Oh that's funny to you? You won't be laughing when someone prematurely ejaculates in your face. It stings. And that's now why I have a lazy eye. Old school

Beanie: Girls love a guy who's in your situation.
 Mitch: What situation?
 Beanie: Mitch. You're on the rebound. You're like an injured young fawn who's been nursed back to health and is finally going to be released back into the wilderness old school

[Blinkin falls out of a tree]
Blinkin: I can see!
[Blinkin runs into a tree]
Blinkin: Nope, I was wrong. robin hood men in tights