I dont wanna toot my own horn but beeb beeb.- dave England from jackass on urban kayaking

"Todays victors aren't named victor at all....its Dave and Ehren" Brandon Dicamillo

I gotta be horrible at everything or else it wouldn't be me"~Ryan Dunn

"He broke his tail bone..we dont have tails anymore so whats the purpose have having one?" Ryan Dunn

"And today good sirs, I will stick my lance far beyond where the light of our world shines, deep into the colon of the enemy."
Brandon Dicamillo, BMX Jousting

"I feel like kicking my dad's ass, all day today!"
-Bam Margera, Dad Beater

You look as fresh as a fuckin' daisy!- steve-o

I'm Wee-Man and this- is a wee hand wee-man

We're getting arrested 'coz of you! bam margera
Ahh, We're getting arrested?!? ryan dunn

"That's the Part that's gonna kick my ass." ~Steve-O before putting a jellyfish on his head

"I want this fight clean, that means don't be like his ex-girlfriend (Points at Ryan Dunn), and come out swingin'." ~Brandon Dicamillo setting the rules in Stilt Boxing.

"Round 4, let's keep it clean, no grabbing, no butter, no blowing. Come on, let's go." Brandon Dicamillo Setting some more ground rules in Stilt Boxing.

"So you comute to Mianus?" Johnny Knoxville asking a woman working in Mianus.

Jess: "How many laxatives did you eat?"
Raab himself: "Eighteen. It says only eat two." Said after Raab himself shìt while running at full speed.

"There's lovingness" ~ Chris Pontius climbing into a tube, facing some piss where a dog just peed, before rolling down a hill

Knoxville: "Say Jackass!...Jackass!"
Parrot: "Fùck off!"
Kosick: "He say fùck off?"
"Don't tell me to fùck off, say Jackass." ~Johnny Knoxville trying to get a parrot to say Jackass.

Knoxville: "Ricks got good, sperm."
Dimitry: "Yeah, now he's just gotta find someone to put it in." ~Knoxville, and Dimitry in Spermathon

Brandon: "In the corner to my right, where there's no corner at all. Wearing the red trunks, and the old ass shoes! Ryan "I'm Almost" Dunn!" ~Bran introducing Dunn in Stilt Boxing.

Ehren: "Now, Now what do I say everytime?"
Kids: "Safety, First!"
Ehren: "Remember that...and always wear protection."
"Blindfolded Skateboarding" ~Ehren giving safety tips

"Do they carry any communicable diseases?" - Johnny Knoxville

No, they do not." - Cricket guy

"Steveo does" - Johnny Knoxville

at any point did you become aroused? - Johnny Knoxville

yea...I'm not into beastiality, but that's a good looking animal- Chris Pontius about him wrestling an alligator

"I was once on a mission, on a cruise I was wishin, that my mom was in the kitchen, eatin chicken, finger lickin." -Brandon DiCamillo

  dude, dude, dude no! cries o why!?!- Preston Lacey about when he is waiting for the show and pees then later when the cops take him away hes all come on I just wanna c the magic show.

"You should get a glass stomach, that way you won't have to worry about pulling your head out of your ass." -Dave England, Cellphone

"That's the only bush Ehren's been in in months." -Johnny Knoxville, Tandem Biking

"My job on this show is to be naked, not kill myself." -Chris Pontius, Tandem Biking

im ok im ok...safety first- ehren